Today, the Jessica Yaniv Simpson circus rolled into the Calgary courtrooms to square up to his unrequited lover, Donald Smith. All contents of this article came from Courtroom observations. Despite Ms Yanivs’s attempt to shut the public hearing down, we were there, watching, observing and rolling on the floor, pissing ourselves with laughter. We don’t have screenshots to publish because, unlike Ms Yaniv-Simpson, we understand the law and respect the court enough not to commit perjury.
In all the posh fashion magazines, it is standard to have glossy photos of the subject set in their well-appointed luxury homes in the latest design of the day. But hey, who are we kidding? It is Jessica Yaniv Simpson, who lives in a pigloo. Farmyard chic, it is not. Unlike Jessica, we didn’t record or screenshot the hearing, so we relied on eyewitness testimony.
One thing we can say for sure is that theRCMP photo-fit staff are seriously underpaid for the material they have to work with.
In the end, our guys gave up despite several people’s descriptions, so we ended up going with the two that were the
Jessica Yaniv Criminal
most accurate.
To say that Jessica Yaniv Simpsonlooked terrible is an understatement. If there was a worldwide shortage of cooking fat, they could resolve it simply by cutting JYS hair. Even Ms Yaniv Simpson knows she has finally gone too far.
There is some disagreement among the observers on JY’s position in the Pigloo. Some think he was sitting on his dog pee-soaked sofa bed (the one Mrs Yaniv the 4th used) but has put on so much weight he isblocking more of it out than usual, and those of us who think he has put that much weight on that he had to sit on his dog piss encrusted floor. Either way, we know it was to hide the fact Miriam was with him on his other devices, creating fake users on Webex, including a sick one about Donald Smith’s grandmother. Yaniv is never that creative and returns to the same old perverted shit time and time again.
We wouldn’t usually comment on JY’s appearance in detail, but there was one other big boob of the entire show. Remember the chicken fillets at the Langley Council? Well, we have the sequel nobody wanted. Yaniv, in an awkward attempt to look female, had stuffed his bra with tampons or something else. Either way, the stuffing had moved, giving his “breasts” an extremely lopsided look. It made them look like a burst-ball sack. The fact that the full droopy one was on his south-eye side just added to the comedian look.
I will bow to a Meow Mix patron who may have coined an entirely new descriptive term for fashionistas everywhere: “It looked like the tent used for a cheap Las Vegas Wedding” I would certainly get on board with that.
Jessica Yaniv Simpson in Court
How did it go in the hearing, I hear you ask? Well, how did it go for Joan of Arc after they lit the tapers at the stake? At least Joan was an honest Christian. First thing – Yaniv is getting no leeway in Calgary. The Judge is a non-nonsense guy who repeatedly had to force Yaniv back to answering questions or even stopping Yaniv as he tried to introduce nonsense. Copy and paste isn’t going to work here. Yaniv games will not fly here either because I have spoken to Courts. So when Yaniv started his shit today, they had already been warned. Court records, Mr Yaniv, can’t be changed!
First, we are delighted that Donald Smith could use his preferred pronouns of they/them. I can only wish to have that sort of bravery, especially after the unhinged stalking and harassment he has been subjected to by Canada’s appointed head of LGBTIQPPMPP activism. It should be noted that Yaniv Simpson brutally assaulted Donald with his misgendering. Maybe DFS should speak to the RCMP about it and bring charges against the non-binary Phobe that our land whale is. What do you think? Another point – Donald did more for the trans and non-binary community today than Yaniv ever will. Sorry, I am doing a Yaniv and talking about shite when you all want the details.
For the hour before the hearing, Yaniv created fake names to appear in the Webex online meeting room. Things like “Autistic Retard” and “Prostitute Alma Jean Robinson” amongst others. Yaniv had ensured everyone knew he was in the room with his idiotic name tag that had most of it in capitals. Yaniv seems to have forgotten we all know he has a second phone because he filmed himself calling Donald’s PO with it. He also put whining chat messages out to EVERYONE that DSF is bad and isn’t allowed to contact poor wee Yaniv. You know the score, Yaniv, the predator that takes DARVO to a new level. When this didn’t work, Yaniv demanded that everyone be kicked out of the room. He then claimed that a Twitter account, “Ghost of Yanivs Dick”, had been tweeting about the case live (no such account exists), so everyone should be booted out. He then went for a Twitter account @mapleridgecrow, who Yaniv claims runs Meow Mix (despite the stupid fucker knowing my name and social media accounts) of encouraging others to attend the hearing and cause trouble!
Donald appeared online but presented himself very well. He had taken time over his appearance and, when spoken to, was polite and courteous. All the observers noted the respect he gave to the Judge and the duty lawyer for the court. Donald addressed himself as they/them, which he then deferred to his new Counsel present. Caryma Sa’d said she wished to assist the court and submissions. She confirmed she was called to the Bar of the Law Society of Ontario. She was Retained to speak to the matters but was not involved in previous material with Donald and Yaniv, despite their rich history. She was retained as a last-minute effort so Donald could articulate (due to his disabilities). She has also offered consideration in preparing material, as Donald’s submissions are somewhat less than coherent. She anticipated to put materials together within 2-3 weeks. The Judge accepted this was perfectly reasonable but would have to be put to Yaniv, who, let’s face it, we all know, is such a kind and reasonable person. NOT. Yaniv took this opportunity to ignore the question the Judge actually asked and commit perjury. It might come as a total surprise to you all, but Jessica Yaniv Simpson blatantly LIED in court. I know, who would have thought it? They weren’t even small lies; they were whoppers that even Yaniv would choke on.
Once the land whale was allowed to speak, he went like a bull in a china shop. Not that he answered the actual question, but like all good steamtrains, JY was working himself up into a good head of steam. Whopper 1 Yaniv claimed to be profoundly deaf. Yaniv knows how to ask for a CART but didn’t bother to request it. Whopper 2 Yaniv claimed he hadn’t heard what Donald and Karyma said because they were blowing into their microphones “purposely” to prevent him from hearing anything. I leave the response to this in the comments, but an observer in the chat room asked why he was pretending to be deaf! Whopper 3 Donald is breaking the law by taking action against her. Again, total bollox and the Judge had to remind JY that this would be a matter for the actual case. The Judge then reminded Yaniv that he was only being asked if he agreed to! By now, this honoured Judge had reached the end of his tether and said the break for Karyma to finalise documents was fine and tried to fix a date. Again, Yaniv floundered like a land whale gasping in the air as he tried to fudge it to his favour. Yaniv was given a week to pick a preferred date, which everyone felt was really simple. Not Yaniv; Yaniv told the court that DFS has a sentencing on the 30th of November, so that day. Yes, Yaniv, whilst at a hearing where he has been accused of stalking, admitted he was indeed stalking Donald. No noble prize for Yaniv! Yaniv also claimed to have classes (that will be one of the nine classes he claims to take), so he was unable to attend despite being banned from the campus. There is no doubt that Yaniv is an opportunistic and perverted predator.
Further procedural issues were sorted with a date set, including all submissions being filled before 22nd November. Yaniv has already sent his, and they are hysterical but also 100+ pages long. Give us time to read them. I hope the court staff get offered bottles of extremely expensive alcohol for having to read through them.
We will finish with a final point that we have suggested before. Throughout the entire hearing, Jessica looked and appeared stoned, drunk or drugs. Not just the vacant, empty eyes but slurring words and blurting out the truth every now and then. But that isn’t the point. The point is we were very surprised when Ms Jessica Yaniv Simpson started referring to Mr Donald Smith as Mr Simpson! A Freudian slip, if there ever was one. What do you think? Were we right in our theory it was unrequited lust?
In all the posh fashion magazines, it is standard to have glossy photos of the subject set in their well-appointed luxury homes in the latest design of the day. But hey, who are we kidding? It is Jessica Yaniv Simpson, who lives in a pigloo. Farmyard chic, it is not. Unlike Jessica, we didn’t record or screenshot the hearing, so we relied on eyewitness testimony.