Yanivs Self Inflicted Diabetes Madvent Day 13

Remember when the humungous fat loser, convicted violent criminal, court-certified racist, Jessica Yaniv Simpson, kept calling the doctor because he had the sweats everytime he drank one of his 4000 calorie concoctions? Well, it was no surprise to find out that the land whale was a type 2 diabetic. In this case, it is 100% self-inflicted because he is roughly the same size around the middle as he is in height.

Well, today’s guest article is from someone who actually has type 1 diabetes, and they are not amused with the cosplaying sugar junkie.

I wanted to take the time to write about Jonny’s “experience” as a diabetic, though hard to determine because he constantly switches from a type 1 and type 2. He’s got more gadgets than Inspector Gadget himself– Go-Go-Gadget glucose monitor, Go-Go-Gadget insulin-releasing patch, and his trusty sidekick Rexy, the wonder dog who can sniff out low blood sugar and magically summon Subway sandwiches from the kitchen (amongst the other fake tasks this dog is taught to do). I mean, who needs a superhero when you’ve got Rexy on your team?

Now, as someone who battles insulin resistance and sensitivity, I’ve had to make some serious lifestyle changes. Let me tell you, dealing with wonky blood sugar levels is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded – not exactly a fun time. As an ACTUAL woman as well, I’d rather take a week of cramps and mood swings over a sugar meltdown any day. When my sugar levels were out of whack, I was a walking zombie, dragging myself through the day and losing precious hours to sleep and exhaustion. It was like my body had declared mutiny, and I was just along for the ride.

So, I decided to take charge of my health. I bid farewell to a whole bunch of tempting treats and made friends with a way better diet and discipline. It wasn’t easy, but now I can occasionally sneak in a slice of cake without feeling like I’m playing a dangerous game of sugar roulette. But let me tell you, I dpn’t gorge on cake and cookies, when I eat cake in particular I slide away the frosting like it’s the plague.

Now, let’s talk about Jonny. This guy has the self-discipline of a crazy kid in a candy store. He’d wolf down anything in sight without a second thought. Does he even know that drowning himself in endless breadsticks at Olive Garden is a bad idea? Meanwhile, I’m over here skipping sugary treats for weeks, and when I finally cave in, I’m hit with a wave of sweetness that makes me gag. 

In the end, I refuse to call myself disabled. I’ve taken the reins and made the tough choices to keep my body in check. But Jonny? Well, let’s just say he’s got a lot to learn about responsibility and maybe a thing or two about portion control. It baffles me how Jonny can even complain about his “disability” when its something so easily resolvable. But his fetish for feeling like the victim will always trump having a better life.

I’ve seen toddlers with better problem-solving skills than Jonny when it comes to dealing with his so-called “disability.” It’s like he’s got a PhD in making excuses and a black belt in self-sabotage. If only he’d channel that energy into finding solutions instead of wallowing in his own drama, he’d be unstoppable.

But nope, Jonny’s too busy perfecting his “Woe is me” routine to see the light. It’s like he’s got a full-time job as the CEO of Complaints R Us. I’ve half a mind to send him a superhero cape with “Captain Victim” embroidered on it – it’d be a perfect fit…if I could find a size 5X.

Tell us your thoughts on the land whales sugar heavy diabetic diet!

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10 Replies to “Yanivs Self Inflicted Diabetes Madvent Day 13”

  1. jaime

    The big man has a victim complex he is not the first person to be like this and won’t be the last one..

  2. breadstick

    The best thing Jon could do for society is continue to eat slop and gain weight as it drastically reduces his life expectancy. If he looked after himself we could be dealing with his insanity for another 40+ years. Thankfully he’s already castrated so at least we don’t have to worry about him impregnating a prostitute and procreating.

  3. 377

    Why work at something when others can do that work for you. Want to guzzle down a litre bottle of pop and that family sized chocolate gateaux? sure why not, that’s what ambulances are for. Want to get online attention? sure why not, miss an injection or two, Canadian taxes pay for those ERs. Bank balance needs topping up? sure why not fake an insulin incident, that’s what Canadian -job-grabbing muslims are for. Why diet when you can get jabs instead, that’s what Doctors are for.

    Why take onboard years of medical advice to lose weight, exercise and manage my food intake when others are paid to solve my problems? Get outta here says jessica serenity simpson. Sister of Jesus Christ, 2023.

    1. jaime

      Why have a bath when you can just go in a pool.

      1. 377


        He gets stuck in his bath, can’t stand for showers and is allergic to chlorine. Him and water don’t get on.

      2. Vern Thurston

        Yaniv is never in the pool, his filthy yellow-blonde hair with black roots is never wet. Yaniv lurks in a chair or stalks the girls change-rooms.

  4. jaime

    Seems to be allergic to soap as well.

  5. Jon Yanivs Beret

    Very well written…with perfect doses of humor thrown in. So nice to see a guest article!

    Kudos to the author for taking control of her life. I believe that some of the biggest problems we have in our first world countries are a sense of entitlement, and an unwillingness to take responsibility for one’s own actions. Not the majority, of course, but it sure seems rampant.

    If i remember correctly, he also went to the doctor because he was getting overheated when drinking hot chocolate and the doctor has to explain that hot beverages will make you hot. You could literally see the condescension dripping of the page when the doctor wrote that. But not Jon, he thought the doctor, and the hot chocolate too of course, were just being transphobic.

    @377, you mentioned he was allergic to chlorine, but I remember it a little differently, although it’s certainly possible that he claimed to be allergic to chlorine at one point too. He claimed that he was told by his doctor to bathe in chlorine for his folliculitis, which is an infection of hair follicles. It’s disgusting and looks like acne, its a form of staph that’s often results from poor hygiene. When he pestered girls and women to engage in discussions about their periods he used that “disease” (folliculitis) as a reason why he wore pads, to soak up sweat “down there” he said. Vomit.

    There is seriously no one on earth who’s lazier, creepier or grosser, and he’s mighty close to being able to say there’s no one fatter too.

    1. 377

      @Jon Yanivs Beret

      YANIV CLAIM – “I used to go into pools wearing long pants and a shirt and that’s so weird… so im wondering if it would be ok if i got a neutral one piece girls bathing suit?”.

      YANIV LOGIC – wearing chlorine soaked clothes offers up the ultimate chlorine protection but not nearly as much as wearing “a neutral one piece girls bathing suit”.

  6. nNancy

    Brilliant guest writer and awesome comments. However, in the interest of public service I have to present a counterpoint to the article. Every other commercial is for a new, barely tested drug for conditions that humans have endured for thousands of years with no detrimental effects. I present to you drug called NTX100 Tonic Motor Activation (NTX100 ToMAc), which is for Restless Legs Syndrome. Granted, there may be 1/1000 people WITH RLS that might benefit from this drug but in reality there are a myriad number of methods to deal with RLS without a toxic RX sloshing around inside you. Now RLS has been with us since forever and the medical journals all mention zero cases of death, disability or long term impairment due to RLS but that didn’t stop some company from spending $1-2B US to develop and bring to market this wonder. Now the same company will spend $B’s more, more that the development costs, to convince everyone they NEED this drug. See your Dr. , improve your life, free yourself the ads claim. Meanwhile the Dr. go on Caribbean junkets paid by the drug co. to RX their poison.
    Now take a weak willed and equally stupid fucker like Jethro here, tell him if he cuts off his dick he’ll be swamped with hot lesbian sex and what do you suppose the outcome is? Yep, SNIP. No Dick Jonny. Is it any wonder he’s going to claim disability for every malady he can think of, starting with something that affects 12% of the US population to some degree, a lot of it self induced.
    No, Jonny No Dick will always blame the “transphobic fucks” for every nuance of his fucked up life when all of his problems are self-induced. Generally through his own cretinous stupidity but Corporate America is playing to these losers and they lap it up.

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