Donald Francis Smith has had no part in the writing of this article. All content is from Jessica Yaniv Simpson or other independent sources. Yaniv was asked for comment and told us to suck a Hindu dick and to “go ahead” if we were brave enough. This is a long article because, like everything with…

Have you ever looked at the utter bombsite that is Yaniv Simpson’s life and thought, “How the fuck do you put this in writing?” When the actual truth is a parody, it isn’t easy to know how to start. My favourite is when people tell me the Yaniv story is so far-fetched it must be…