Legally Bland , A Kebob Too Far

We have 18 articles waiting to go, covering eight criminal investigations (all have a minimum jail term), racism, harassment, inciting hatred, university disciplinary, court reports and more. We planned it all over the next few weeks but didn’t reckon on Yaniv. We hold our hands up; we are deeply ashamed of our utter failure. I don’t know how we will ever face the world again. Yaniv has finally succeeded in beating us. May I congratulate Yaniv on his stunning victory? We MEOW down to you. You are now officially the world’s biggest screwup.  Not even I could have foreseen that Yaniv could screw up so many things in such a short space of time. You have screwed up so many times that we can’t keep up with articles. What a stunning and brave achievement.

On with the article! This will be a great shock to you all, so please take a moment to prepare yourself. I had to eat an entire olive garden chocolate cake to cure my totally not genuine diabetes when I first heard this, and I am gluten intolerant. Yaniv is suing a Muslim-owned business! – I did not see that coming, which is good, considering the bubble telescope can see Yaniv moving about Langley. I will give you a moment to recover from the sheer shock that this is happening. It is not as if Yaniv has any history of suing ethnic businesses for false reasons, is it?

As you all know, Yaniv is a particular fan of Halal meat and regularly brings it up (no pun intended) on social media, at university and indeed even in his campaign to be the chief Eunach on the students association board! So it was perfectly normal for him to turn to a Halal restaurant with his fake service dog and Rexie in tow when his completely not made-up “type 1 severe diabetes” just happened to get worse outside an Afghan restaurant. I mean it’s not as if they weren’t dozens of other establishments in the immediate area.

You Literally made a video calling halal meat shit and fake meat. Why would you even eat in there if you feel so strongly? 

Now I am definitely NOT saying there are inaccuracies in the claim. I am sure point 1 is 100% true – bullshit 

Jessica bravely waddled out (without her wheelchair) and called RCMP because someone had refused her pet entry to a restaurant. Do you think the police flip a coin to see who has to speak to this bunch? Hello Mr policeman, a bad man said no to my doggy and ran away – How on earth do they keep a straight face? (Also something Yaniv has never been able to do)

Rexy is two years old, barely enough time to be trained in anything. Has been claimed to be trained for things for over a year. But is still not toilet trained. She humps people in court and lunges at children and adults. (for clarity, this isn’t about Jessica this time) She is not even trained to be a pet dog. Your dog is a FAKE service dog.

Jess then goes inside to argue her case, which is odd in an apparent health emergency. She decides to have an argument during an alleged health emergency. Why not just take the Glucogan she admits to having?

Although she states clearly she had Glukagon with her in her post – Imaged at the top, which meant there never was any need to go anywhere for food, she drops it in the lawsuit. I could possibly speculate why she would do this. But another point in the claim that stood out for us was the claim that her health started to deteriorate due to this incident. No, Jessica, your health started to deteriorate when you grew to the size of a whale.

There is one other part that is so funny I had an asthma attack caused by laughing. (Maybe I should sue?)

I could make comments about the pigloo, the numerous complaints about odours or even the issue in Miriams building with faeces smeared over the place. But this time, I will defer to the astute legal judgement of a criminal Judge who, at Yanivs recent criminal trial, asked if it was the dog that he smelt – Yaniv bravely took it on the chins and confessed it was him and caused by his medication.

The entire claim is worthy of a booker prize for fictional comedy, but sadly, the courts still entertain this vexatious litigant. Or do they?

13 Replies to “Legally Bland , A Kebob Too Far”

  1. Vern Thurston

    Diabetics can carry energy bars or something similar. Jessica could strap a snack dispenser to poor Rexy, he is already covered in disingenuous items to draw attention to poor Johnathan the Medical Lightening Rod Lawsuit Machine. Strap some Granola to Rexy. No, Emergency! Bust into a Afghan Restaurant in hopes of being turned away so a complaint can be lodged. The Great Afghan Kabob can issue their own complaint against Johnathan for misrepresenting Rexy as a Certified Service Dog. The form is available on Gov BC. I strongly suggest they file a complaint so the unfortunate and cruel use of Rexy in Scams ceases. Restaurants are not liable for Johnathan’s grotesque health and inability to regulate it. He has also claimed he has type 1 and type 2 Diabetes which is impossible. As usual everything is a Fraud and a Scam because it is Johnathan Yaniv related.

    Hell Yeah 10
    Fuck This Comment 0
    1. Avatar photoMeow Mix Online

      Wait till we release Legally Bland part 3

    2. nNANcy

      I appreciate the fact you are here to never let anyone forget that the entire life of Jonathan Jessica “Jethro” Serenity Simpson Yaniv is a concocted fraud. None of it is real, except the 450 lb. he lumbers around with, that and his IQ of 70 or so. I salute you Vern and look forward to your continued truthful reminders.

  2. Maggie Chapman

    Please tell me the restaurant had video cameras ? 😀

  3. Mickey

    Look at our big boy itemizing his damages like that so it looks more random and for once the total is not 35K! He must have learned how a calculator works. I can only imagine how long that took. I can’t even with the low BS, stumbled into a Kebob shop to be rescued and was denied. Because every diabetic diet everywhere instructs patients to eat kabobs for hypoglycemia.It’s interesting to me that he has been a type I diabetic for as long as he has, with as many near-death hypoglycemia events as he has had yet he never seems to know what to do. Had glucagon all the time. I hope the lawyer for the defense makes sure to request his medical records, specifically the ones documenting his diabetes history to see what kind of diabetes our Jon has or has not. This is the best one yet I think.

    1. 377

      @ Mickey

      yaniv has again self-diagnosed, it seems, this time as having “severe diabetes1” whereas he himself (in the leaked catfish chats) / his court submitted digi doc notes (2019) / court submitted EMS records (Funk filing) all state he has diabetes2. He’s a medical marvel as you can’t go from 2 to 1.

      Like his anxiety / depression / PTSD and car bump etc it’s “severe”.

      1. Mickey

        All they have to do is subpoena his medical records with an accurate list of diagnoses and meds. Would prove once and for all the truth AND show the judge he lied on his claim from day 1. They could also ask for the results from his blood glucose monitoring machine’s memory. I did home nursing for a short while and was always having to access the memory to see what the past blood sugar trend was like, including the actual result from the Day of the Kabob. Jon is a medical marvel for sure, especially in that he has so many “diagnoses”, including a brain tumor that he was supposed to die from but didn’t. He needs to learn that unless a person is diagnosed by an actual doctor, it’s not real. Seriously Jon, it’s not.

      2. 377

        @Mickey

        Have a read up on his Bayshore filing (April 2022 approx)…

        He wanted $5000 yet provided no evidence of his blood sugar readings. He outrightly claimed incident-stress had caused his blood sugar levels to drop, he even called 911. Now I’m no EMS expert nor knowledgeable re diabetes but surely a medical emergency call out would warrant an examination, readings etc taken if it was a diabetic emergency and then an official record made? Bizarrely no proof was offered up from their attendance.

        Judge – QUOTE Finally, Ms. Simpson submitted no credible evidence that her brief interaction with Bayshore’s employee was what caused her blood sugar to drop, even if it did drop. END OF QUOTE

        He NEVER offers any proof. Any claims he does make are shot down by expert testimony. He seems to think that his word and a note from his mum is all that is needed in a court of law. He’s an idiot.

        Most of his “illnesses” are self-diagnosed and, of course, are always more debilitating than the norm. Him and his mother spend their time scouring med books for their next “severe / profound” illnesses – too dumb to realise there are folks genuinely suffering and who see through their joint grifting BS. Again, he’s an idiot.

  4. David

    My partner has a BC certified Service dog, they cannot even be tested till they are two

  5. Jahn

    I actually have actual diabetes (not “severe”) and glucagon is something that is to be used on an unresponsive diabetic, not something you just whip out when you feel a bit peckish.

    1. Mickey

      I just noticed that Jon says he took Baqsimi, which is a nasal powder one can take to increase his blood sugar, and not injectable glucagon. Not that it matters, because we all know that it’s a lie. Jon is a lying lier that lies.Thanks for pointing out about the glucagon though, Jon’s blood will boil when he reads this.

  6. Mr. Peroz lives literally a few minutes from me. I also noted a very positive review of his restaurant was left by an old friend of mine, I haven’t spoke to in a few years. I feel like I need to go to the restaurant and support his business.

  7. OMG What comment service do you use? That photo of me is 10 years ago. LOL!!! Being online as long as I have it is always fun tripping over old pics. I should update it. HAHAHAHA

    And yeah, I always use my real name. Come at me and see what hell fire is.

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