Jessica Yaniv Simpson is doing what they always do and it’s working out the way it always does. Here’s an update on JY’s run for VP Equity and Sustainability.
Campus Presence
JY has been spotted on campus with this young girl, believed to be 17 or 18 years old, and Rexy the Fake Service dog on more than one occasion. Rexy is described as poorly behaved, requiring JY to frequently correct it or tell it to stop. There’s a very strong possibility this is the “Ashley” girl from JY’s campaign website. Later that evening he made a video in an SFU cafeteria, attacking their food and the Muslim community (next section).
Campaign Ads
Jessica “I Touched an Underage Girl During a Seizure” Simpson has already been forced to retract one ad for promoting rape culture and violence, and another one does a good job exposing JY’s menstruation fetish. Another one seems unrelated to equity or sustainability. The last one is simply ignorant and racist. Did you expect any better?
The above ad was banned by SFU. I can see why. It promotes rape culture and some have commented that it reads like a thinly veiled threat to blow up the TMX facilities. The ad below is still around.
This one, which shows that he can’t manage to proofread things, is pretty random.
I’m curious to see how he’ll spin that as “equity and sustainability”.
And this video below is simply ignorant, racist, and tacky. Jessica Yaniv Simpson still thinks swearing is cool I guess. If you watch the video, you can see other students awkwardly trying to get away from him.
What a great message to the Muslim community – their meat is low quality, fake, and tastes like shit.
In case you don’t know what Halal meat is, it’s real meat, but with some restrictions based Islamic requirements on how the animal is fed, raised, and ultimately slaughtered. It doesn’t affect quality or flavour.
Moving on, it turns out (surprised?) that the endorsement from “Samantha” on his “Vote Jessica” website is fake. The photo of the blonde is simply a stock photo, one featured on the album cover for Costa Mee, a house music producer and again on a homeopath website. Stock art use isn’t so bad. Fake endorsements are cringy as fuck though. At least his mom didn’t write him a note.
It’s worth pointing out again that none of these ads have any likes or engagement.
Social Media Presence
Of course, it’s not just Jonathan Yaniv’s top notch marketing director-level skills on display here. It’s also his influencer-level zero-engagement social media capabilities working at maximum level.
Enviro-Socks
Of course, it wouldn’t be a Yaniv story without another example of Yaniv pretending to care about something in an effort to get close to people (future victims). This latest effort includes a great deal of time spent pretending to care about TMX without actually knowing anything about TMX, pipelines, or the energy sector. It can’t even wash the oil from it’s own hair.
Here’s a great chat from a recent zoom meeting. Two large galleries below. JY is “TMX Sucks (She/Her)”. Some people believe JY is one or more of the other accounts too, agreeing with himself to prop himself up. The chat is mostly boring, to be honest, but you can clearly see JY’s usual antics. 50+ pics below, spread over 2 slideshow galleries.
Political Background
JY has been bragging about their historical political prowess, claiming that they had previously run for student council at Kwantlen and won by a landslide. While it is true that JY held a campus officer role for student council at Kwantlen, it was because the position was open and JY won by acclamation. Five of the 22 available positions were vacant that year, even after JY claimed one.
His efforts to improve school life included such wonderful things as National Sex Day. Not even that could get him laid. Turns out most people don’t actually need a dedicated holiday or day set aside for sex. Unlike JY, they just get it.
Campaign Website Analysis
Several readers and social media followers have already torn the site to shreds. Here’s a few bullet points:
- JY is promising to reduce student fees, improve locker safety, reduce sex-related crime on campus, stop abuse from the Centre for Accessible Learning, force SFU to take measures against TMX and open “The Study”, stop racism, transphobia, and homophobia in student unions and clubs, improve inclusive signage, develop an ASL course, reduce class size for courses, force SFU to develop a “School of Law at SFU”, freeze SFU food prices, and lots more. Very few of these are within the scope of the role he is seeking, or any other student council role.
- JY is also promising (yes there’s more) to increase hiring of BIPOC counsellors at SFU HCS, revise SFU policy to allow pets in residences, create a pharmacy on campus to virtual care outside HCS hours, support a referendum to find dedicated funding for student groups, work towards Puppy Therapy, Bunny Therapy, and Cat Therapy programs, hold regular Town Hall events, mandate Open Educational Resources and free textbooks for all, install sanitary product dispensers in all restrooms, force SFU Rec to build a new pool in the next 5 years, hire communications staff to allow more posts about council meetings and motions, and various cliché intersectionality activities.
- JY describes themselves as an aspiring lawyer, B of Arts student, quad majoring in Crim, Psych, Communications, Gender/Sexuality/Women’s studies and dual minoring in French and Climate Action. They claim to be a queer woman (not a trans person) and that they grew up in a low income household (patently false). They claim to be a victim of discriminations, abuse, harassment, and institutional barriers.
- JY claims the have a winning attitude and a globally-heard voice.
- They claim they are comparable in voice and power to “Martha P. Johnson”, who doesn’t even exist. They likely mean MARSHA P. Johnson, described on Wikipedia as “an American gay liberation activist and self-identified drag queen. Known as an outspoken advocate for gay rights, Johnson was one of the prominent figures in the Stonewall uprising of 1969.” Very interesting person to compare themselves to.
Odds of Winning Prediction
JY is running for the position of VP Equity and Sustainability. A quick search suggests this was filled by two women prior to him. It’s currently held by Rea Chatterjee. At this time, there are no known candidates running against JY.
That doesn’t guarantee a win. Yaniv is still subject to campaign rules, and has already reached Stage 1 of the disciplinary schedule for posting non-approved campaign material. It’s highly likely that SFSS is targeting him for disqualification.
Campaign rules also allow immediate disqualification – skipping stage 1 and 2 below – for particularly egregious violations. If you feel Yaniv has violated campaign rules, or SFSS should be made aware of Yaniv’s actions, you may contact them at elections.chief @ sfss.ca (take the spaces out).
JY is eligible to submit expenses for reimbursement up to $100 – only if the expenses were pre-approved.
The campaign period runs until Nov 1, and voting occurs Nov 1-3, 2022.
MeowMix Prediction as of October 20: 66% chance JY wins by acclamation, 33% chance JY loses by disqualification, 1% chance aliens.
A win for JY isn’t really a win for JY, keep that in mind. It’s a win for MeowMix.
