A Study of Jessica Yaniv Simpson’s Law Practice

jessica yaniv simpson

In case you missed it, Jessica Yaniv Simpson claims to be close to passing the bar exam. With that in mind, MeowMix teamed up with various experts and opinion writers to study JY’s most recent legal filing – a lolsuit against the BC RCMP, in which he alleges that two officers rubbed their erect penises on his elderly aunt and mother.

Jessica Yaniv Simpson vs. The RCMP – Legal Opinion

Johnny is suing the RCMP again.  In Simpson v Canada (Attorney General), British Columbia (Attorney General), Gafka, and Luzhetskiy, Johnny is suing two (2) RCMP constables for a raft of alleged torts against his mother and aunt.  He is also suing the federal and provincial governments as being vicariously liable for their employees’ actions.  Had he read the last response he received when suing the RCMP, he would know he is suing the wrong departments of the government.  But he didn’t, so he doesn’t.  On to the substance…

Briefly, some of the causes of action may be arguable cases if the underlying material facts pleaded were to be believed.  They are bullshit. 

Unfortunately, we will not be treated to the spectacle of Johnny perjuring himself to project his Oedipal rape fantasies on to a first responder.
The pleadings will be struck because of a clearly fatal flaw.  Johnny is the plaintiff and “the legal advocate” for Miriam/Ilana.  Johnny suffered no alleged injury at all.  Johnny has no standing to sue, nor is he a lawyer who could represent Miriam/Ilana.  Based on the material facts he himself pleaded, he would be a mere bystander.

There is, however, one way Johnny could act as a plaintiff.  Johnny would have to be named litigation guardian (i.e., guardian ad litem) for Miriam and Ilana.  A litigation guardian is someone who acts in place of a person under a legal disability, like a child or an adult who lacks mental capacity.  Before Johnny gets ideas, there is NO WAY that will happen. 

First, to state the obvious, a litigation guardian can only act for an adult who lacks mental capacity.  While Miriam may be batshit crazy, she seems to have capacity.  Second, a litigation guardian cannot have an interest in the proceeding.  If Miriam/Ilana are mentally incapable, Johnny would have to look after their affairs and he would siphon everything off.  Johnny is not indifferent unless they were capable of managing their own affairs, in which case they cannot have a litigation guardian.  There is also the issue that Miriam and Ilana may, at some point in the proceeding, have conflicting interests and therefore could not have the same litigation guardian.

Regardless, a litigation guardian must act through a lawyer, who would stop this whole psychodrama if she wanted to keep her law licence, never mind her reputation and sanity.

You will notice that Johnny brought his action in BC Supreme Court, probably because the small claims court (i.e., BC Provincial Court) is on to his games and given all his cases to a single judge.  However, Johnny is playing in the big leagues now.  BC Supreme Court hears the most serious criminal and civil cases in the province.  Its judges have better things to do than play stupid games.  They will put him through a verbal and legal (sadly, not an actual) woodchipper.

Even better, filing frivolous, vexatious, or abusive actions will incur an award of costs on a solicitor-client basis.  Basically, all the defendants’ lawyers get to total up their bills and forward them on to Johnny.  At $500+ per hour in Vancouver, that adds up to a lot of Boston Pizza lunches.  With any luck, a vexatious litigant declaration will soon follow.

Too bad you can’t eat in court.  His next hearing will demand popcorn.


  • His writing is improving!  Unlike his previous RCMP action, this one does not appear to be written by a coked-up toddler Karen.
  • Real trans rights activists do not call themselves transgendered.

Jonathan Yaniv vs. The English Language

This is pretty rich for a guy that attacks drive-thru restaurant staff for not speaking clear English and whose mother runs around drunkenly yelling at people in half-English, half-Hebrew. But, since Jon values the English language so much, one KiwiFarmer took it upon himself to provide JY with some friendly help. You can read the full thread here.

  • jessica yaniv simpson

I had a quick chat with this user, (thank you to Jwhy!) and there were far more errors than this. They only highlighted one example of each type of error, but the same errors repeat several times throughout the document.

Maybe JY can work on passing Hooked on Phonics before passing the bar.

MeowMix Opinion: WTF?

Jon, Jon, Jon. The fuck were you thinking?

In case this needs a preface or a warning, what comes below is just opinion.

  • Legal advocate? You mean like Kari was for Don? Double standard?
  • I’m curious…if you were always “trans”, how can you be “transgenderED”? That implies something changed, indicating that you weren’t trans before that change. I thought transgendered was a taboo word.
  • What activism have you ever successfully engaged in Jon? At best, you’re a strong reminder of the importance of birth control and ultra-late-stage abortion rights.
  • Everyone’s already said it, so I will too: how can you be the plaintiff and the advocate for events that didn’t even happen to you?
  • On that topic, what kind of shitty ass kid are you to air your mom and aunt’s dirty laundry about in this way? REAL sexual assault victims, which you three genetic mistakes are not, don’t brag up being sexually assaulted. That’s just you Jon. You’re a rape fetishist. Also, we made sure Amy Hamm’s lawyer has these documents too. It shows a pattern. Jon, you’re literally Canada’s Jemma Beale, only more ugly and less smart.
  • re: item 10: You’re saying Gafka just showed up randomly, for no reason, none at all, nothing happened? Bullshit. And they left in 30 seconds? Right.
  • re: item 13: What is with you delusionable assholes calling for an ambulance so often?
  • re: item 14: Tell your psycho mother to cancel the ambulance next time. Better yet, quit faking suicidal thoughts and just live your lives.
  • re: item 15: You know emergency services doesn’t take you seriously when an emergency call takes 50 minutes to respond to and BC EHS won’t come to your place unless the RMCP are present.
  • re: items 15-18: What Jon is leaving out here is that Miriam HAD TO have called in saying she was suicidal. That’s pretty much the only reason they would arrest you for this purpose. It also gives the police the right to force entry. You should also proofread your stuff Jon. “…criminal code offences of any township bylaws.”
  • re: item 17: Miriam (and the rest of you clowns) doesn’t get to decide what’s lawful.
  • re: item 19: Jon. You idiot. There’s video. If this happened why didn’t you release it? Oh wait, you think you’re being smart and you’ll post it in court? It will never make it to court. This didn’t happen. If you had evidence you would post it and the media would show it and you’d get rich. Where’s the video?
  • re: item 20 and every future reference to erect penises: Jon, you are obsessed with dick. You’re a rape fetishist. You daydream about being sexually assaulted. There isn’t a soul on earth that has any sexual interest in the three of you.
  • re: item 23: We all WANT to punch the three of you but this didn’t happen Jon.
  • re: 24: she was probably too stoned on her downers to know.
  • re: every reference to lacerations. Jon, Miriam posted pictures of all the marks on Ilana and herself. No broken skin. No blood.
  • re: every reference to severe psychological damage and fear for their safety…Let’s be honest. These three assholes are DEFINITELY severely psychologically damaged and in all honesty should probably be afraid for their safety. They’ve made it a habit to piss people off everywhere they go, not to mention the pedophilia. Someday, someone is going to hurt these people. #popcorn.
  • re: 27-39: same as above.
  • re: 40: The plaintiff was arrested? Was Jon arrested this night? Or did Jon the Con screw this up. Hmmm.
  • re: 44: When you’re under arrest and on medical observation for mental reasons you don’t have the right to know where your sister is.
  • re: 45, 46: false charges? Says who? Crown reviewed the charges for three months before filing them. I would bet they are pretty well reviewed and supported by evidence.
  • re: 50: 8-point restraint system is Jon’s inner male voice coming out. The kind that likes to brag about stats. “Ya, that baby has 400 horsepower under the hood.” Like that. Anyone else would have just said she was restrained.
  • re: 51: if Miriam was not in the custody of the RCMP why would the RCMP bother to tell MEDICAL EXPERTS what care she needs? This also contradicts #41-44, which says she was arrested by RCMP, checked by an ambulance, and then detained in a fucking hospital. Which is it Jon? Was she checked by medical experts or not? Was she in custody or not?
  • The next several points are repetitive of the above, until 65 and 66 when Jon lists his dream-list of things he wants people to think he has so he can get sympathy from them.

These are just the pieces of low hanging fruit that I grabbed on a quick read. If one was to really analyze these events and compare them to other details we know I’m sure it would fill another few blog entries.

In short, Yaniv is claiming police brutality. He should be worried about BC Supreme Court brutality.

Finally, a bonus review of Jon’s legal skills courtesy of Kari Simpson.

(no doxxing here….this is public info and posted with Kari’s consent). ‘

This is the application Jon filed in which he calls DFS delusionable. A few quick notes:

  • When he mailed it to DFS, he included his pronouns on his return address.
  • DFS uses Kari’s address for receiving mail. In that address, Jon added the phrase “Anti LGBT and SOGI 123”.
  • He mailed DFS the APPLICANT copy of the Notice of Application. The one he should have kept for himself.

Very professional Jon.

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