Nope, this time, we are not talking about the 300 fake accounts that he uses to reply to himself online but his actual smelly socks. There is a reason we feel Jonathon Jessica Yaniv was right to self-identify as a retard, and that is because we have never known anyone else to be so thick. And no, we are not talking about his waistline, either.
The wonderfully gorgeous and all-around perfect human Langley Resident shared with us a couple of years ago about the foul vomit-inducing stench that Yaniv emitted as he weeble-wabbled about the strata. As is his usual, the landwhale flew into a rage (not literally, not even Concorde could get that lump in the air) and set about proving Miss Langley Resident of the year 2019-2023 wrong by covering himself in $1 store perfume because everyone knows that mixing shit with your granny’s favourite 1920s toilet water works!
I mean, any normal person would just have a shower and change their clothes, but not our beloved criminal terrorist Yaniv. No, he chose to go all in with gassing his neighbours.
The perverse thing, and most retarded is that when he was told NOT to take a bath but to shower and use sitz baths, the greatest landwhale on earth decided it was a good idea actually to take baths. He subsequently ruined his rotting corpse man cave gash with a tash wart-infested neo vag whilst being a degenerate pervert and calling the traumatised Greenpeace fire brigade in Langley to winch him out. If that is not enough, Jon traumatized the poor responders by asking them to look at his “pussy”.
Suddenly, having to smell him rather than see him as the poor first responders had to doesn’t seem that bad. A gentle reminder that JON JESSICA YANIV SIMPSON is on trial, and his case resumes on 18th December.
