Arrest Warrant Issued For Jessica Yaniv Simpson
October 15th, 2025: Exclusive Update: Criminal Gets BA in Criminology
In a belated Canadian Thanksgiving gift it appears that Jessica Jonathan Yaniv Simpson is in a hot water once again and we don’t mean he’s stuck in his ‘Sitz Bath’ (again) We now know that Jessica Jonathan Yaniv Simpson has an arrest warrant for failure to appear September 24th 2025 on criminal harassment and stalking charges. It should surprise nobody that once again, he’s failed out of courtroom just as spectacularly as he fails in the courtroom. MM can confirm that Alberta Court have issued a warrant that is now at arrest status.
Given his blatant stalking and harassment of his victims in this instance, Karma has been a long time coming but it always comes knocking, whether you’re in a condo or a cardboard box. What a lovely belated Canadian Thanksgiving gift for all! Who pulled the wishbone on their turkey and wished for this? You’d think someone with a BA in criminology would know that it’s not a good idea to dodge out on your court cases. Anyway, we suggest 3 or 4 pairs of handcuffs to Calgary police for such a girthy prisoner.
Orange is the new black. (Do you like our orange and grey new jail house theme colours?)
- Oct 17, 2025 (UK Daily Mail) Trans activist who sued female beauty spa for refusing to give her bikini wax is now WANTED by police
- Oct 15, 2025 (Western Standard) Warrant issued for arrest of ‘Jessica’ Yaniv after alleged harassment charge
AI Receives SFU BA
Everyone knows it was AI that completed all those courses and wrote all those papers for SFU in the name of Jessica Jonathan Yaniv Simpson.
So Congrats to ChatGPT (or whatever AI he used) for completing 4 years and getting a Bachelors of Art for those ever inspiring courses. Congrats to Rexy, for surviving this long too. The highly trained “service dog” was literally dragged around the ceremony.
Thank you to our MM friends that posted the video on X.
SCHOOL OF BREAKING ROCKS
Over the years Jon’s AI has given MM some brilliant content regarding their University journey. Let’s take a trip down memory lane and say cheers to AI for all the joy it has brought.
In August 2022 Jessica’s AI joins Facebook’s SFU 2022 New Undergrads and sets up a bunch of groups to discuss courses.
In October 2022 Jessica decides to run in an election for Student VP of Equity & Sustainability. Using a heavily AI filtered photo and a write up that was beyond delutional, and included the title “aspiring lawyer and a queer Indigenous disabled woman from low-income household” – and claims to be taking “French, Education, and Communications with a minor in Climate Action & Society” – whatever the fuck that means. This is what happens when the human gets a little too involved. Let AI do the work.
In December 2022 Jessica submitted this gem of a paper called Can Porn Be Feminist? Why Feminists Should Reject Pornography for a course labelled GSWS101 – it’s an online course called Gender Talk – An interdisciplinary study of the social and cultural construction of gender, and how ideas about masculinity and feminity shape current issues, knowledge, popular culture, and social policy. AI was working double time on that one.
MM Document Library houses all the PDF versions of all the AI Papers. As noted above AI Jess was also looking for info on GSWS-102 – An historical and comparative survey of feminisms and feminist activism in Western European, North American, and Global communities. MM has no idea if AI completed that.
You Know What They Do to Guys Like Us in Prison
MM aren’t entirely sure how Porn and the endless papers Jon writes about them apply to a law degree in Criminology? We are sure in his big head there is some weird logic to all of it. Maybe Jon-a-Jess will go on to represent hookers?
What a super successful term. Yeah so Summer 2023, would be year 2-ish of Jonny’s SFU adventures, and these are the 3 grades AI accomplished for him.
Jess bragged about taking another online course called Human Nutrition (BKP110) and AI achieved an A+ which is spectacular. Given the fact that Jess is a massively obese 400+ pounds, diabetic and suffering multiple diseases from eating take out and massive meals at Olive Garden. Jon truly knows zilch about nutrition. AI had a struggle with the online course Introductory Chem (CHEM 110) – General fundamental concepts and nomenclature; stoichiometry and chemical calculations; nuclear and atomic structures, chemical bonding; properties of gases, liquids, solids and solutions; chemical kinetics and chemical equilibrium. This course has the same lecture component as CHEM 111 but no laboratory work. Finally the future lawyer Jessica (according to Miriam Yaniv) rounded out the summer with another course called History of Greek Civilization (HUM 277) – Surveys the history of Greek civilization from Mycenaean times to Rome’s conquest of Greece. Prerequisite: Recommended: HUM 110.
The New Mew Crew aren’t are how these apply to becoming a lawyer but you go AI!
JAILHOUSE ROCK
Then later in 2023, on Instagram Jessica sporting an Allard School of Law sweat shirt that anyone could buy off their online store, announced AI was applying to law school. Sadly MM never heard if AI was accepted.
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
In 2024, AI apparently made the DEANS HONOUR ROLL. Of course MM could not find Jessica Simpson’s name on the list but good for you AI, you deserve the kudos.
Jessica Simpson updates their AI facebook page, just letting you “not a lawyer yet” but doing undergraduate pre-law studies. Umm okay.
Let’s hope prison offers more Online Courses for Continuing Education.